Visible Changes

When it comes to weight loss or muscle shaping, we all want to see results immediately. We want to be ale to run like a pro our first day out, and look like the girls on the workout DVD by day 3. Well I certainly don't look like Jillian Michaels, yet. But after almost 3 weeks of proper food intake and working out a minimum of a half hour every day, I can see the beginnings of change.

I am a total sucker and still rock James to sleep at night (I KNOW, it's the only vice we have and it's not far from changing as it's getting a little awkward). But last night for the very first time, he simply slid his foot between by leg and the rocking chair arm spaces, to dangle his legs. He usually has to shimmy them out.

Both Daniel and I can see that my waist and belly have shrunk, and I can see it a little bit in my neck and shoulders. It's fantastically motivating! In 17 days there are visible changes. So there you have it. We want these things instantly and in my mind, 3 weeks in the world of weight loss is damn near instant.

As far as the workouts are going, I can get through the cardio circuits without wanting to lay down and cry, and I upped my free weights from 2 pounds to 5 pounds. I had to go back to 2's at the end of yesterday's workout in order to finish the lateral arm lifts, but it was worth the challenge. I am starting to enjoy it, and I am looking forward to Monday`s weigh in, but that`s also the day I start level 2! Eeek.

Down again!

So I weighed in this morning! I am thrilled to report I am down another -2.6 pounds! That is just over 6 pounds lost in 2 weeks. My first mini goal is to get to 5% lost by Easter! That gives me 3 weeks to lose 5.9 pounds. I do not want to get cocky but, with Weight Watchers and the 30 Day Shred combined I should knock it out of the park!

Starting Weight -   239
Previous Weight -  235.5
Current Weight -   232.9
Total Lost           - 6.1


Hours Exercised This Week - 7

30 Day Shred Report.

If Not Now, When?

Jillian Michaels

Oh my goodness, Miss Jillian is trying to kill me! I have been doing one of her workout DVD's for a couple days. I figured it would be a good transition to the 30 Day Shred. I am so glad I did that, as I think it was the key to me just making it to the very end of her 1st 30 Day Shred workout. By the end of the workout I was soaked in sweat.

The Workout consists of 3 cycles of 6 minute circuits. Broken down it is :

• 3 minutes of strength training (weights, push ups) 
• 2 minutes of cardio (old school jumping jacks, butt kicks)
• 1 minute of ab work. (various forms of crunches working all 3 levels of abs)

Each circuit is different then the last, she uses different exercises each time around. It's very motivating to know that it's 6 minutes, 6 minutes, 6 minutes. As opposed to 18 minutes full tilt. Sometimes we have to play little mind games with ourselves to get through the brutal work that is weight loss.I can say I was quite happy to drop my ass to the floor and do the ab work at the end of each circuit. 

This is why I love her.

I will own it, and say that there was two exercises that I couldn't quite do during this morning's workout. I hope to get a handle on those this week. I plan on doing one level per week. I am also planning to continue the other workout routines I have been doing in addition to the 30 Day Shred. I am so committed to this!

I need to thank the girls on the weight loss Mommy forum, for their affirmations and support. I would never have done this on my own. They are an amazing group of ladies. Thank you, girls!

So there you have it. I survived, it seems. I have been working out for the last two weeks and I am so ready for the next 29 days! Git Er Done!

Weight Watchers Break Through.

At my smallest.

As I mentioned in my last post, I want to touch on what I have been doing in regards to the nutrition aspect of weight loss. The same day I started working out again is the same day I re-committed to weight watchers. There is a short back story here. I went on weight watchers 6 years ago. I successfully lost 54 pounds in 9 months.  The formula at the time was 90% nutrition and 10% fitness. I became comfortable and complacent about the portions and the types of food I was eating. After a 6 hour wine and tears fest with a good friend, we somehow ended up with McDonald's (a first in over 2 years at the time) and that was the official beginning of the end. It was like an addiction damn broke and that was that. When I got married I had put on about 50 pounds. Ugh. It went on slowly, and Weight Watchers was out the window completely! I was right back to eating whatever I wanted.

I thought pregnancy would save me from my poor eating habits...alas, it did not.

So since weight watchers completely revamped their plan, I thought I would check it out in a focused mindset and see what happened. Well, my first week I was down 3.6 POUNDS! It does sound like much in the grand scheme of things (65 pounds for next pregnancy, 95 pounds in total), but it's a solid start!

The plan itself is a bit more complicated, but I have been using Weight Watchers Online and it's SO much easier! I just set up the laptop on the kitchen counter and enter every single thing I put in my face. I pre-plan my points for dinner and plan around that. That way I am always covered for a decent dinner and not stuck wishing for more points. I freely use the Weekly Allowance points as well, and try to split them up a little bit through the week. I do not swap my fitness points earned for food.

I enjoy being mindful and informed of what I am putting in my body, too. I don't eat aspartame or other artificial sugars if it can be avoided, so I use more points through the day by using naturally sweetened products. At the same time it's infinitely better than ingesting it and doing serious and irreversible damage to myself.

I weigh in at home every Monday, so I will be reporting on the new 60% nutrition 40% fitness formula, every Monday or Tuesday night!

"If you want to see the muscle, you need to burn off the fat"
~ Jillian Michaels, Biggest Loser Trainer, Fitness Phenomenon. 

A Profound Change

Almost two weeks ago, Daniel and I had a very deep and honest conversation about our life. We just sat down and reconnected. It was wonderful. During that conversation, Daniel committed to getting up early every day and minding James while I did one of my 11 workout DVD's. This simple act has inspired me to no bounds! I have managed to work out 10 of the last 11 days. It's been great! I started with Core Rhythms 7  DVD Set. It is a latin cardio workout, with ab work and a lower body sculpt session as well. I have been doing Stott Pilates Simple Stretches as well as the Sunrise Workout. It's been a great kick start! BUT I am ready for something new.

I used to be a dancer. I use that term loosely, I was no Karen Kain. I took recreational ballet 3 days a week for 12 years. I miss it dearly. I do wish that I had taken it more seriously. I would have never been a professional dancer but I could have gotten much more out of it. However, it serves me well with these workout DVD's. I have a love of dancing and a good sweat that is inherent in all dancers. When it comes to a workout of any kind, I prefer to sweat like a dirty pig! Some people may take issue with that, but in reality it's every nasty thing in your body coming out. My skin hasn't been this soft in a few years.

After almost two weeks on Core Rhythms I was starting to get bored, even though I have 7 DVD's to switch up workouts with. I happen to be a part of an online mommy group that focuses on weight loss. One of the girls proposed a 30 day challenge. Anyone who knows me, knows I said yes before I even knew what it was. Turns out, we will be doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. So I picked up that DVD as well as 6 Week Six-Pack and Killer Buns & Thighs. Now I LOVE Jillian Michaels! I think she's fierce and inspiring so I was all for it. I ordered it online and I did level one of 6 week Six pack to try it out this morning and by the end of it, I was screaming F bombs and banging the floor in frustration and pain. It was worth every second of it. It showed me how out of shape I really am. I am looking forward to getting through that DVD soon enough. 

So the plan is to do the 30 Day shred, every day for 30 days (obviously), for one week alone (plus walking) and starting the second week I will be adding back yoga, core rhythms, 6 week six pack and killer buns and thighs on alternate days. I am working on a printed schedule but my sorry excel skills are making it slow lol. I will post it as soon as I have it.

I am also back on weight watchers new points plus program and have had great success in the last 2 weeks. I will post about that later :)

A part of my 30 Day Shred commitment is to blog about it every night!  So stay turned, as starting Monday March 19th, there will be loads to read!!

"If you suppress grief, it can well redouble".

How much of an affect on your soul can grief and sadness have?

Is Moliere correct? Can it redouble if left suppressed? Can it become self destructive and sabotage your life?

I wonder this, because sometimes I feel like it's possible that all of the loss and anger I have faced over the last year and a half, has permanently damaged me emotionally. I have become angry and easily frustrated. I am now the proud owner of pitiful jealously, which is new to me on this level. I have recently hurt people very deeply who probably cared about me, and obviously cared more than they should have. It was not my intent to cause them any hurt but my careless, untrue and malicious words took over the kindness and common sense I was raised with. In the end, it has put me in a place of serious reflection. I walked around my house for a week with a heavy heart and a sick stomach. I choose to speak about my actions with 3 of the people closest to me, including my husband. I have to thank them for their support and willingness to call me out on my bullshit and put me in my place. It is the best kind of friend whom you can come to in shame.

I have decided to dedicate the 40 days of lent to getting a started on my journey back to the person I know I am. The person I haven't been in a long time. I am trying to be mindful of every thought I have. In doing so I have quickly discovered how rude and impatient I am in the chaos of my own mind. I don't think we often acknowledge that we may not be as super awesome as we let on we are, but this is a very individual journey. Looking back and taking account of all the times you have been a complete dick to someone for no reason. Or for good reason but still unjustified, is a shockingly humbling experience.

This journey of self help and growth that I am in will only be in vain if I do not attempt to change who I am fundamentally in the darker parts of me. Is it possible? I don't know. Maybe the wise man is right, maybe there is no cure for asshole. Or, maybe there is. I am starting grief therapy this month. I hope that it can take some of the pain out of my heart maybe and help me replace it with compassion. It's even more obvious now that by getting healthier I will also feel better about myself and maybe much less resentful of others personal happiness. Wow, that's the first time I have said that out loud, and it saddens me that's it's true these days.

I am very lucky in the sense that while I cannot change the less than kind things I have done in my lifetime, maybe the good things I have done can propel me to do better in the immediate future.

Maybe, if I live my life mindful of that level of kindness, eventually it will become habit.